i understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore
Read MoreI've started substituting the meat for a tin of green lentils when I make curry
I'm not a vegan it's just so much cheaper and kind of faster too
leave your worries behind
rain shine don't mind
[s4s] is the groove line tonight,... today?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht
my anxiety is on fleek
https://youtu.be/BQirNWK7MTs?si=sgF
Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again
A Farewell to S.
I barely even know where to start with her.
You meant everything to me, and it turned me into nothing. I cried for you, more than once. I cried the night you called me, drunk, from that bumfuck town in the middle of goddamn nowhere, wearing that slutty costume - the one you'd made sure to show me, had made me sit on your bed and wait while you put it on to show it off for me - slurring out that you looooved me, that you were sooo sorrrrry. I was still living with my parents, recovering from my latest series of disastrous life choices. It was Friday, around two in the morning; they were up drinking beers and listening to sad songs, which was and is normal for them.
We were on the phone for an hour. You told me you loved me, then paused, and said "I love who you >used< to be."
The way you said it made me physically shake; I actually thought I might have a heart attack. I told you that, and you said "Good," and laughed.
I said "No, I don't hate you, S.," and I hung up on you. I went to sit down on the couch, and my mom asked if I was okay, but we didn't talk about it. I listened to Piano Song by The Heartless Bastards, and I cried, silently, as I sang along. I don't think I'd ever sung so well in my life. Even then, I loved you - that's what you did for me. You knew me well enough to hurt me. To kill me. You found the parts of me that I keep hidden; I found some of yours, and we shared notes. I never lied about what I thought about you. I loved how effortlessly you manipulated me - engineered me, guided me into position, used me. I'm really good at that game, and I let it happen on purpose; but you outplayed me, you bitch. Nothing was ever good enough for you. I had to prove myself over and over, and you never once failed to let me know when I failed. And I loved every soul-rending second of it, masochist that I am, and you took me for everything I was worth. You made me think I didn't exist.
Your fortune: Bad Luck
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