[s4s] Tribune

And then it were there, and then it were him.

By Anonymous | Updated 11/24/25(Mon)09:45:11

And then it were there, and then it were him.
It were old Goobles McSchlombles, careening his way into the amphitheater, dressed in fine toga, muscles a'gleeming, spear aloft.
"AND THENEVER AND HOWEVER AND WHEREVER I GOES!"
said he
"COMES I HITHER AND THITHER AND SLIPPING A SLITHER, ALONG THESE AGE'D TILES. COMES I TO YOU NOW, EYES ON THE SKIES, WEIGHT ON MY BROW. COMES I BRINGING GOOD NEWS. HARK! IT IS THE GOOD NEWS...

I HEARD JUST THIS MORN THAT A MAN WAS BORN. YES, A MAN I SAY, BORN OF TWO HETEROSEXUAL MEN! WHAT A TIME WHAT A MOMENT, WHAT A DAY TO REJOICE, FOR THE AGE OF WOMEN IS AT IT'S END. I PROPOSE A NEW WAY! A RACE BEBORN OF MAN, AND MAN ALONE! A RACE WE SHALL NAME CHAD, OR PERHAPS THAD OR BRAD (we'll work the specifics out later). A RACE TO CONQUER THE LANDS AND THE SKIES AND THE STARS ALIKE! NOTHING SHALL BE BEYOND US, OUR MALE ESSENCE UNTEATHER FROM THE BITCHING, AND THE WHINING, AND THE NAGGING, AND THE HAGGING, AND THE "OOOH ALBERT, CAN YOU PICK THIS UP IT'S TOO HEAVY FOR MY WEAK LADY ARMS, OH NOOOOOOO!". NEVER AGAIN I SAY! THE FUTURE BECKONS TO US, MY HETEROSEXUAL BRETHEREN!"