[s4s] Tribune

Had a mock funeral for my dad today. Turns out it costs an arm and a leg to ship a dead body from Laos all the way to trailer town Arkansas. Mom said fuck it: Grab whatever's left in his shit ass room and burn it outside, pretend it's him. Went inside his room. He raped me here when I was a kid so it's not exactly giving me good memories. Hell, just being in this shit ass trailer isn't giving me a nostalgia either. Just blocked out memories and bad experiences. Grabbed whatever I could from his room. Old pair of cowboy boots, some wrestling mags from the 90's a TV remote, an empty carton of cigs. The room smelled like nicotine and sweat.

By Catfish | Updated 03/13/26(Fri)12:12:45

Had a mock funeral for my dad today. Turns out it costs an arm and a leg to ship a dead body from Laos all the way to trailer town Arkansas. Mom said fuck it: Grab whatever's left in his shit ass room and burn it outside, pretend it's him. Went inside his room. He raped me here when I was a kid so it's not exactly giving me good memories. Hell, just being in this shit ass trailer isn't giving me a nostalgia either. Just blocked out memories and bad experiences. Grabbed whatever I could from his room. Old pair of cowboy boots, some wrestling mags from the 90's a TV remote, an empty carton of cigs. The room smelled like nicotine and sweat.

I left and mom was already outside, lighter fluid in hand and cigarette on the other. Motioned me to throw the shit into this empty metal drum. She had a fake pair of gucci glasses. Probably bought at some strip mall the moment she found out she was going to get whatever is left of what dad owned. She began pouring all the lighter fluid into the drum and with the cigarette, lit it on fire. The fire spread fast. Felt a wave of heat blast at face. I looked away for a bit. Saw my mom. The fire reflected on her knock gucci glasses. Her eyes fixated on what's left of that rapist. And for a moment, I thought my mom was mourning. I was wrong, instead she gave a smirk like she was saying "I won."

We stood there in silence for around 10 minutes. For a while was alone in my thoughts again. The sound of paper and leather crackling, the wind howls in my ear; In the distance the sound of some reality TV show echoes through out the air. Is this it? Is it finally over?

Eventually the fire died down. Without a word, mom went back in the trailer. And so here I am now, typing this on my phone in front of what's supposed to be the remains of the man who raped me as a kid. Just wanted to write my thoughts.