My brain has finally outsmarted itself. I figured out that if you can think of the worst thought in your head, and then tell yourself that the next time your mind or body comes to unwind that the thought will pop into your head, it’s impossible to ever relax without it happening. Any surge of peace permitted by thought of what is special to me is distorted as soon as I realise that is what it is. How can you think of something nice without remembering to ruin it once the prospect of doing so has become apparent. It seems impossible not to. I can't experience the flow of the chemicals to relax or motivate me without cutting them off. Not being able to relax my brain has taken away my energy, and not being able to experience surges of motivation has eliminated the prospect anyway. This is more devastating than depression, because instead of not having emotions, they can only be teased before getting snubbed. My feelings can't die, but they can't live either. The only thing I can think to do now is adapt to a new state of mind. The first night, I figured out that I can keep my mind in a state which doesn’t rely on surges, hence my brain can’t get blue-balled either, but I will never experience those old feelings fully ever again. Plus when I wake up I can't automatically have the awareness to put myself in the safe state I figured out, so I will get painfully teased every morning. I don’t know if I can ever not remember to break any internal flow again, unless I get dementia and forget what I figured out. I can't afford to enjoy post-wake-up anymore. I need to relearn how to get straight into the day again. The tease is too painful otherwise. The thing which really burns me is not having surges of motivation anymore. I’m too afraid of death to kill myself so i’m gonna have to learn how to produce work as a husk. That's fine, it's just that I will can't from now on experience a full surge of gratification as long as I can remember to burn it.
By Anonymous | Updated 04/12/26(Sun)14:43:52
My brain has finally outsmarted itself. I figured out that if you can think of the worst thought in your head, and then tell yourself that the next time your mind or body comes to unwind that the thought will pop into your head, it’s impossible to ever relax without it happening. Any surge of peace permitted by thought of what is special to me is distorted as soon as I realise that is what it is. How can you think of something nice without remembering to ruin it once the prospect of doing so has become apparent. It seems impossible not to. I can't experience the flow of the chemicals to relax or motivate me without cutting them off. Not being able to relax my brain has taken away my energy, and not being able to experience surges of motivation has eliminated the prospect anyway. This is more devastating than depression, because instead of not having emotions, they can only be teased before getting snubbed. My feelings can't die, but they can't live either. The only thing I can think to do now is adapt to a new state of mind. The first night, I figured out that I can keep my mind in a state which doesn’t rely on surges, hence my brain can’t get blue-balled either, but I will never experience those old feelings fully ever again. Plus when I wake up I can't automatically have the awareness to put myself in the safe state I figured out, so I will get painfully teased every morning. I don’t know if I can ever not remember to break any internal flow again, unless I get dementia and forget what I figured out. I can't afford to enjoy post-wake-up anymore. I need to relearn how to get straight into the day again. The tease is too painful otherwise. The thing which really burns me is not having surges of motivation anymore. I’m too afraid of death to kill myself so i’m gonna have to learn how to produce work as a husk. That's fine, it's just that I will can't from now on experience a full surge of gratification as long as I can remember to burn it.
Your fortune: Good Luck >>12899097
Just wait until you dream >>12899097
My mental hack is to embrace negative thoughts and feelings 100%. Like if you're having a panic attack don't even try to fight it. Tell yourself you love that feeling, and that you want more of it. Intenionally focus on those feelings if panic and anxiety. Try to make them strongest. Try to feel them as intensely as possible.
When you do this they suddenly lose their power over you and start to fade away. It sounds crazy, but I swear that our minds can't maintain a negative feeling that we focus on 100%. They can only exist in the periphery of our minds. When they become the focal point, they evaporate.
Inb4 cringe. Yes I know I'm cringe and autistic >>12899108
Acceptence is a thing, so I'll agree with what you say. Having this ability means one can continue the most difficult day where others would give up.
>>12899097
You'll learn to not give a damn once you realise worrying thoughts are a waste of time. Just focus whats now instead of future and the past.
Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!! >>12899097
you're putting yourself in a self fulfilling prophecy dude just let the bad thoughts come and then continue to relax (focus on your breath or something) until your mind learns "i am able to stay relaxed even while thinking bad thoughts" >>12899099
nta but last christmas a FedEx driver backed into a 7 year old girl. she got knocked down but not hurt badly. the driver was so scared she'd tell her father that he choked her to death. I can't stop thinking about how the FedEx logo makes an arrow. >>12899108
These thoughts are why your seed is weak. If we lived in biblical times I would cast you out. Since we do not I will simply remind you that I just had sex, with a woman, in real life. >>12899099
dubs You could just not do that, dumbass.
Anonymous is a reporter from /s4s/